It often happens that when I get hurt, some way or another, by a person, it starts out with this lump in my throat, then a weird vomiting felling, I guess it's worrying, and then it turns out to pure anger towards the person. Sometimes, I think it's because I'm mad at the person for making me feel this way, other times it's because the person clearly overreacted, and I'm mad for the way they handled it, which is 100% human, I guess.
But this weird, sudden anger, often turns out in me, writing another blogpost. This time - for a change, it's not going to be towards the person, but the whole situation. The thing is: I hate how girls always has to make so many problems, out of one, simple problem. I mean, instead of calling me all kinds of shit, that's really hurtful btw in your meltdown, please fricking sit down, talk it through and find a solution. I really don't get girls, when it comes to this. Well, I actually don't get girls in many ways; i'm pretty sure i'm at least 50% guy or something. To make my issue short, it probably is, that girls have this scary, slightly disgusting need to make a scene out of everything. And I basically mean everything. For example, look at me and my friends (and we're really simple in this way, we solve our problems quite fast, thank god) but when we need to plan something, like a sleepover, it always turns out to a mess. Not in a bad way, just in a way where I think, this could be planned so much easier. Maybe not the best example, but you get the meaning, ay?
I guess I am so very simple when it comes to that. Well, I try to be. I'm saying this, not making my self some kind of saint, I have very many bad qualities, like mood shifts, and not really thinking things through sometimes, but I just get so, so, so stressed when there's girl issues. Like, it sucks out all of my energy, and just ruins the rest of my day, until it solved. Therefore, I think the best way to handle everything is, well maybe a fight first (not fist-fight, but the very exact moment you discuss) then sit down and talk it through, 'cause otherwise it'll stay in your system and poison it. Dramatically expressed. A problem with me is, when I feel unfairly treated, I just can't get myself to talk to the person. This anger grows, which, I guess, is ok, but it just stays. I don't know if it's a matter of honor, or if I think it's embarrassing. Yes, embarrassing. Weird choice of expression, but with it, I mean that I maybe think what I've done/said is embarrassing, which is very, very cowardly, or maybe, which i think it is in this case, I'm embarrassed because, once again it's me crawling back. It makes me feel like i'm this little person: Just to be stepped on, and it really pissed me off. Like i'm the loser, like I'm the child to be ruled over. Probably feeling this way, because I can't do anything about the feeling. It's a question of insecurity, and when I mention the subject insecurity, I could just go on and on and on.
The thing i'm trying to say, is that all of this is human. It doesn't make you a bad person, because you've maybe screwed up once or twice. It's so weird that I can both feel totally stepped on and cruel, but also grown up, and the one handling every freaking situation the best. You always see yourself the worst way, really. And you can get this feeling that nothings going to be the same now. It'll be so weird seeing the person again. It doesn't. I have the sickest prove to that. But you know, if it's you who've messed up, if it's your friend, your parents, you boyfriend, don't worry. Sit down, talk it through, and maybe you'll end up separated, but at least you found out, that that's the best thing for you. Because you solved it out nice, good and simple. You'll feel betrayed, hurt, mad, in freaking rage, but that feeling will end. Right now i'm drowning my "sorrows/anger," can't tell what in coca cola light listening to "Drinking from a bottle", when I guess I could use something a bit stronger. My way of handling these situations with putting on loud music, drink something and then do something I love, which in this case is writing. (It always is, it's so much easier to get your meaning out in words) And I think, my psychological stage is anger right now, 'cause there's some serious base power going on in here. (Or nah, my radio sucks, but the music is supposed to be bass-filled)
I don't know if any of this made sense to you guys. I hope it did, because it does to me, and I hope I've told you something, that might help in a present or a future problem. My one and only advice in everything, really (And by everything I mean everything.) is do it simple. SIMPLICITY makes life so much easier for everyone. I donut get why society haven't figured that one out yet.
Do it simple
Biggest, simple I love you all
Anna
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